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10 Things No One Tells You About Becoming A Parent

June 18, 2017 By Thinking of Someday

Becoming parents has been one of the greatest things that have ever happened to us. Probably up until our son turned one, we couldn’t believe that we actually had a baby. We knew a lot of things in regards to parenting before we had our son, but we quickly realized that parenting is an indefinite learning process. So in celebration of Father’s Day and because we didn’t do anything on the blog in regards to Mother’s Day… Here are 10 Things No One Tells You About Becoming A Parent. 

10 Things No One Tells You About Becoming A Parent

ONE.

After the first 2 weeks, your newborn will eat… and then stay awake. Lol. We were used to our son falling asleep after he ate almost every single time. So we were shocked to find him still awake after he had finished nursing and we placed him in his bassinet.

TWO.

Even if you already think your relationship with your spouse is great and a baby can only add to that… Think again. You will eventually have an argument about your baby, some sooner than others and some later than others. And from there the 2 of you will probably figure it out and come to a compromise. Hopefully, it’ll be the only fight you have in regards to parenting (yea right).

THREE.

You will literally miss your baby if he takes a nap for too long. You’ll be wondering when he’s going to wake up. And you’ll also check to make sure he’s breathing several times throughout his nap if it seems to be a long nap.

FOUR.

Your love for your child will grow each day.

FIVE.

Your amazement of your child will grow with each new thing he can do. And then it’ll be a bittersweet moment as you realize your baby is growing up.

SIX.

Your child will teach you patience. If you don’t have it, you will learn to have it. And if you already feel like you’re very patient then you will find a new found patience.

SEVEN.

Sometimes you will laugh with your child when you’re trying to discipline him.

EIGHT.

When your child can finally say, “I love you,” it’s one of the greatest things ever. It’s pretty far up there with him saying “da da” and “ma ma” and actually knowing who’s who.

NINE.

Once your child is able to give you a hug, it’ll feel like the best hug you’ve ever had. You’ll find yourself randomly asking for a hug so you can feel their little arms squeeze your neck.

TEN.

Before becoming a parent, you might wonder about a lot of things you see other parents do and have a tendency to judge. For example, why is her toddler in the store without shoes on -although the toddler is in a stroller or basket? Once your baby becomes a toddler, you quickly realize that he pulls/kicks his shoes off as soon as you get in the car. And then you start waiting until it’s time to get out of the car to put his shoes on just for him to turn around and pull them off less than 5 minutes into the shopping trip. So you say, “Forget it,” and leave them off along with the socks. And in that moment you become less judgmental of the parents you see in the store.

What are some things that you realized only after becoming a parent?

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Filed Under: Life + Home Tagged With: newborn, parenting, toddler

See what’s happening on Instagram…

thinkingofsomeday

As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we beca As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we became mortgage free. What better way to celebrate than a date night in our paid off home?! 😏
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So how does it feel?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Financially, we invested the most money we've ever invested. We also increased our lifestyle a bit as well to keep a healthy balance.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Kim’s Perspective: 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s been great. For the longest it felt surreal and unbelievable that we actually did it. I never really worried about paying off the mortgage because I knew that worst case scenario, it would be paid off in 15 years, which would’ve been when we were 45 (and that’s not a bad age at all). However, it’s been nice to know that it’s not something that Omar is stressing over anymore. And since it was one of his biggest dreams/goals, it’s nice knowing that I was able to support him 100% of the way in making this happen for us and our family. I’m glad this is something he wanted to pursue and that I was actually on board with it. What I’ve enjoyed most about it is being able to spend more money (of course 😆) because a lot of things were put on hold while we focused on the payoff. So now I feel like I’m at that point where I can make our house more of a home for us. It literally feels like we’re in a new space (mentally and physically) and we’re loving it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Omar’s Perspective:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This past year has probably been the best year I've had in life. I've been the least stressed I've ever been, but took on the most responsibility at work I've ever taken on which lead to a promotion and an increase in income. This boggles my mind as more responsibility at work usually means more stress. I feel like I’ve been able to focus on other areas of my life more (my health/weight as well as making more of an effort to maintain my relationships with friends/family). Most importantly, I realize the strength of my marriage.  With the state of dating/relationships these days, I realize I won the lottery with Kim.  She's an amazing wife and mother. We've always had a good relationship but we're stronger than ever.  We started from the bottom now we're here (in my Drake voice). 🎶 #thislifeafterdebt
After taking some time to think about what we want After taking some time to think about what we wanted to focus on for this year, we decided that our word for the year is health.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Overall we both want to continue making healthier choices when it comes to eating. And we both want to focus on exercising more than we have in the past and be way more consistent with it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of the day, what’s money, financial freedom/independence and wealth if you’re not healthy? And we definitely have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc that run in our families. We have kids to live for and that’s what we plan to do to the best of our ability!
This is what our financial goals ended up looking This is what our financial goals ended up looking like for this year. We’re pretty pleased with the outcome and the fact that we still enjoyed ourselves throughout the year and even made some pretty big purchases (like that whole couch saga I shared in my stories 😆). We’re looking forward to seeing what the next year holds! #thislifeafterdebt
We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but if we had to say a word that was our word for this year it would be “intentional” by far.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021 we were very intentional about pulling money from an inherited IRA so that our tax bill wouldn’t be ridiculous like it would have been if we pulled a lump sum at one time. We then used the money to help pay off our mortgage 8 days into 2021.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What we were even more  intentional about was our plan for what we were going to do with our mortgage payment once we didn’t have a mortgage anymore. We didn’t want to frivolously spend that money. So we actually came up with our plan a couple months before making our final payment. But literally after that payment on January 8, 2020, our new mortgage-free budget was in full effect! So yea, “intentional” is definitely a good word to sum up 2021 for us. #thislifeafterdebt
Some of the things we automate are:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Our Budget:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For the longest we use to type everything we were going to spend or save into our budget template. It wasn’t super time consuming but it wasn’t efficient when it came to our regular bills/expenses. Then one day we decided to prefill the template and copy and paste it month to month for our regular bills/expenses. All we have to do is add anything else we spend.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Savings / Investing:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Most of our savings/investing and even our gas and spending money our automated transfers. It beats having to go in and make multiple transfers to our personal accounts and our sinking funds. The 529 accounts for the kids and the Roth IRAs are automatically transferred. But for the brokerage account we have to manually transfer the money because it’s never the same amount each paycheck.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Bill Pay:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve never been a fan of bill pay because I don’t like companies having that type of access to my money. 🥴 And whenever they mess up and charge you too much, they’ll try to just credit your account instead of putting the money back in your bank account. 🙄 However, I’m a tad bit more trusting these days. Lol. Our home alarm had no option but to be auto drafted. Since the amount wasn’t much and is always the same price, I agreed. And the only other bill auto drafted is our cell phone bill after many many years (gasp! haha). Some of the other bills are paid via online bill pay via our banking account. #thisfinancialconfession
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Doing all of this has been a game changer and time saver. Are you team automate or team manual?
It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuter It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuterie board. So I figured Christmas brunch was the perfect time. And plus, that meant less time in the kitchen for me with cooking because I knew I was going to be cooking dinner today. #piecesofsomeday
Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s gua Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s guaranteed that someone isn’t going to be looking. 😆 #christmas2021 #piecesofsomeday
We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down payment). We refinanced at $165k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we took 30 years to pay it off, our total would’ve been $293k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we paid the 30-year mortgage like a 15, then it would’ve been $225k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
After we refinanced to a 15-year, if we took 15 years to pay it off, then our total would’ve been $205k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Instead, we paid off our mortgage in a little over 7.5 years.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We ended up paying a total of $200k with interest.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Paying $200k for this home with how it looked when we purchased it sounded a lot better than having to pay a total of $293k if we end up being here for 30 years! This was yet another factor that helped us decide to pay it off early. #thislifeafterdebt
Part of the reason we decided to refinance and eve Part of the reason we decided to refinance and even pay our house off early is because of the amount of money we were paying in interest on our mortgage. So of course, several months after we paid off the mortgage I began to wonder just how much did we really pay in interest. So I asked Omar if there was a way to figure it out. At first he was like, “Really Kim?” 😳 And of course I was like, “Ummm yea.” 😬 Lol.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jun 2013 is when we bought the house. So there wasn’t much interest paid then.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2014 and 2015 is still when we had the 30-year mortgage. It’s also the years that we paid the most interest. We refinanced at the end of 2015.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2016 is when we made our first payment with the 15-year mortgage. It’s crazy how the amount of interest decreased based off that alone.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2019 is when we decided to pay off our mortgage early. It was supposed to take 6 years. But instead we used RSUs and sped it up tremendously.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jan 2021 is when we paid it off before our first payment would’ve been due. $27 was the last bit of interest we paid on our mortgage.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Grand total: $35,102.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we had continue to just make regular payments on the 15-year mortgage, we would’ve paid a total of $56,279. A difference of $21,177. 🙌🏽 🙌🏽 #thislifeafterdebt
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Comments

  1. Jing Pei says

    June 18, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    Aww, these are all so sweet, but I especially love number 3!!

    • Kim says

      June 18, 2017 at 9:59 pm

      Number 3 is something that we still do even though he’s 2.5 now. Lol. My favorite is number 8. I first taught him how to sign, “I love you,” and that was exciting. But I just love when I now say, “I love you,” and he says it back. Melts my heart every time!

  2. Chad says

    June 18, 2017 at 11:47 pm

    Number 9 all day. Also, something I learned is that there will be a last time for everything so treasure each milestone, there will be a last bottle, a last crawl, a last diaper change etc…. And the older they get the less it feels like they need you especially compared to a new born… It’s all a part of the process. Great post!

    • Kim says

      June 19, 2017 at 9:49 am

      So I’m mad that I came up with this list and completely forgot about number 9. Lol. So actually number 8 & number 9 are my favorites. We’re definitely realizing that there’s a last time for everything. So we’re making the best of every moment and every new thing he does even if it’s something that’s not our favorite. Haha.

  3. Jessica says

    June 19, 2017 at 2:16 am

    Lol! I’m looking forward to baby hugs. 🙂

    • Kim says

      June 19, 2017 at 9:49 am

      I’m looking forward to them for you!

  4. Ron says

    June 19, 2017 at 9:29 am

    #9 has to be top for me. As an empty nester and grandpa, hugs from my kids were universal inspiration to my soul. Now when the grands come by it’s renewed all over.

    • Kim says

      June 19, 2017 at 9:51 am

      Awww that’s so sweet. I, of course, never really thought about it from an empty nester’s perspective… I’m glad we still have several more years for that (although time is going by really fast!).

    • Omar says

      June 19, 2017 at 9:54 am

      A “universal inspiration to my soul”. I love that. Just about sums it up for me.

  5. Natasa says

    June 19, 2017 at 10:55 am

    Here are just some things which come to my mind. Being a parent is something that transforms you, and you can never be the same person you were before. It gives you great joy, but also worries. From that moment, you start to understand the things your parents have told you, but you couldn’t grasp them before. Parent’s work never ends, but in the end, it’s what makes the life worth living.

    • Kim says

      June 19, 2017 at 5:21 pm

      What you just said is a good summary of what parenting is. Nicely stated!

  6. Kris says

    June 19, 2017 at 2:20 pm

    All of them are great especially 4 and 9. We have a one year old boy and enjoying every moment with him . Can’t wait to experience #8

    • Kim says

      June 19, 2017 at 5:22 pm

      Number eight will melt your heart!

  7. Katrice says

    June 20, 2017 at 12:27 pm

    Reading this post brought back a plethora of memories for me. Our son is almost 10 months and it does seem as though time has passed by so swiftly. I see a few of the comments mentioned #8. We unfortunately have not made it to that point yet lol. I am sure my heart will melt and the water works will start once he does. Honestly, I have learned so much (still learning) about being a parent . I am still trying to focus on taking every day one step at a time and enjoying every milestone (as well as the last moments) when they come. I truly feel as if I am wearing my heart on my sleeve at times. It was a pleasure reading this post and the comments.

    • Kim says

      June 20, 2017 at 1:50 pm

      Now that you have a child you will continue to feel like you’re wearing your heart on your sleeves, especially when you realize that he’s growing up > yet again <. And I'll make sure to have some tissue handy if I'm around! Haha.

      • Katrice says

        June 21, 2017 at 7:55 pm

        LOL. Thank you! I will definitely need some. He climbed up the entire flight of stairs two days ago. I was so happy and excited for him. I had to hold back the tears LOL. I cheered for him and he cheered back lol. Soon he will be walking, oh boy!!!! Little man is growing up a little each day.

        • Kim says

          June 22, 2017 at 10:32 am

          Lol. That’s exactly how it goes!

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A married couple making someday a reality all while balancing family + finances + avoiding debt. Find out more about us, here.

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See what’s happening on Instagram

thinkingofsomeday

As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we beca As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we became mortgage free. What better way to celebrate than a date night in our paid off home?! 😏
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So how does it feel?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Financially, we invested the most money we've ever invested. We also increased our lifestyle a bit as well to keep a healthy balance.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Kim’s Perspective: 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s been great. For the longest it felt surreal and unbelievable that we actually did it. I never really worried about paying off the mortgage because I knew that worst case scenario, it would be paid off in 15 years, which would’ve been when we were 45 (and that’s not a bad age at all). However, it’s been nice to know that it’s not something that Omar is stressing over anymore. And since it was one of his biggest dreams/goals, it’s nice knowing that I was able to support him 100% of the way in making this happen for us and our family. I’m glad this is something he wanted to pursue and that I was actually on board with it. What I’ve enjoyed most about it is being able to spend more money (of course 😆) because a lot of things were put on hold while we focused on the payoff. So now I feel like I’m at that point where I can make our house more of a home for us. It literally feels like we’re in a new space (mentally and physically) and we’re loving it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Omar’s Perspective:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This past year has probably been the best year I've had in life. I've been the least stressed I've ever been, but took on the most responsibility at work I've ever taken on which lead to a promotion and an increase in income. This boggles my mind as more responsibility at work usually means more stress. I feel like I’ve been able to focus on other areas of my life more (my health/weight as well as making more of an effort to maintain my relationships with friends/family). Most importantly, I realize the strength of my marriage.  With the state of dating/relationships these days, I realize I won the lottery with Kim.  She's an amazing wife and mother. We've always had a good relationship but we're stronger than ever.  We started from the bottom now we're here (in my Drake voice). 🎶 #thislifeafterdebt
After taking some time to think about what we want After taking some time to think about what we wanted to focus on for this year, we decided that our word for the year is health.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Overall we both want to continue making healthier choices when it comes to eating. And we both want to focus on exercising more than we have in the past and be way more consistent with it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of the day, what’s money, financial freedom/independence and wealth if you’re not healthy? And we definitely have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc that run in our families. We have kids to live for and that’s what we plan to do to the best of our ability!
This is what our financial goals ended up looking This is what our financial goals ended up looking like for this year. We’re pretty pleased with the outcome and the fact that we still enjoyed ourselves throughout the year and even made some pretty big purchases (like that whole couch saga I shared in my stories 😆). We’re looking forward to seeing what the next year holds! #thislifeafterdebt
We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but if we had to say a word that was our word for this year it would be “intentional” by far.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021 we were very intentional about pulling money from an inherited IRA so that our tax bill wouldn’t be ridiculous like it would have been if we pulled a lump sum at one time. We then used the money to help pay off our mortgage 8 days into 2021.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What we were even more  intentional about was our plan for what we were going to do with our mortgage payment once we didn’t have a mortgage anymore. We didn’t want to frivolously spend that money. So we actually came up with our plan a couple months before making our final payment. But literally after that payment on January 8, 2020, our new mortgage-free budget was in full effect! So yea, “intentional” is definitely a good word to sum up 2021 for us. #thislifeafterdebt
Some of the things we automate are:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Our Budget:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For the longest we use to type everything we were going to spend or save into our budget template. It wasn’t super time consuming but it wasn’t efficient when it came to our regular bills/expenses. Then one day we decided to prefill the template and copy and paste it month to month for our regular bills/expenses. All we have to do is add anything else we spend.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Savings / Investing:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Most of our savings/investing and even our gas and spending money our automated transfers. It beats having to go in and make multiple transfers to our personal accounts and our sinking funds. The 529 accounts for the kids and the Roth IRAs are automatically transferred. But for the brokerage account we have to manually transfer the money because it’s never the same amount each paycheck.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Bill Pay:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve never been a fan of bill pay because I don’t like companies having that type of access to my money. 🥴 And whenever they mess up and charge you too much, they’ll try to just credit your account instead of putting the money back in your bank account. 🙄 However, I’m a tad bit more trusting these days. Lol. Our home alarm had no option but to be auto drafted. Since the amount wasn’t much and is always the same price, I agreed. And the only other bill auto drafted is our cell phone bill after many many years (gasp! haha). Some of the other bills are paid via online bill pay via our banking account. #thisfinancialconfession
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Doing all of this has been a game changer and time saver. Are you team automate or team manual?
It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuter It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuterie board. So I figured Christmas brunch was the perfect time. And plus, that meant less time in the kitchen for me with cooking because I knew I was going to be cooking dinner today. #piecesofsomeday
Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s gua Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s guaranteed that someone isn’t going to be looking. 😆 #christmas2021 #piecesofsomeday
We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down payment). We refinanced at $165k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we took 30 years to pay it off, our total would’ve been $293k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we paid the 30-year mortgage like a 15, then it would’ve been $225k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
After we refinanced to a 15-year, if we took 15 years to pay it off, then our total would’ve been $205k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Instead, we paid off our mortgage in a little over 7.5 years.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We ended up paying a total of $200k with interest.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Paying $200k for this home with how it looked when we purchased it sounded a lot better than having to pay a total of $293k if we end up being here for 30 years! This was yet another factor that helped us decide to pay it off early. #thislifeafterdebt
Part of the reason we decided to refinance and eve Part of the reason we decided to refinance and even pay our house off early is because of the amount of money we were paying in interest on our mortgage. So of course, several months after we paid off the mortgage I began to wonder just how much did we really pay in interest. So I asked Omar if there was a way to figure it out. At first he was like, “Really Kim?” 😳 And of course I was like, “Ummm yea.” 😬 Lol.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jun 2013 is when we bought the house. So there wasn’t much interest paid then.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2014 and 2015 is still when we had the 30-year mortgage. It’s also the years that we paid the most interest. We refinanced at the end of 2015.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2016 is when we made our first payment with the 15-year mortgage. It’s crazy how the amount of interest decreased based off that alone.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2019 is when we decided to pay off our mortgage early. It was supposed to take 6 years. But instead we used RSUs and sped it up tremendously.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jan 2021 is when we paid it off before our first payment would’ve been due. $27 was the last bit of interest we paid on our mortgage.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Grand total: $35,102.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we had continue to just make regular payments on the 15-year mortgage, we would’ve paid a total of $56,279. A difference of $21,177. 🙌🏽 🙌🏽 #thislifeafterdebt
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