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How Debt Can Affect Your Decisions

June 27, 2017 By Omar

Kim and I have been debt free except our house for the past two years. In that two years, she has been able to go from full-time to part-time to PRN (even less obligation to work than part-time). This freedom has come as a direct result of us learning how to budget and eliminating all debt except our home mortgage.  

Essentially we are making less money but we are able to do more with it because we don’t have debt eating our income. Today, my income covers all our needs and we stash Kim’s paychecks towards our wants. The more of this freedom I’ve experienced the more I want. So much so that I want to pay off the mortgage.  Aggressively. Thinking back I realize that debt has affected my decisions and actions. I can see it in conversations with others close to me as well. I’ve always been blind to it until now. 

How Debt Can Affect Your Decisions

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. You can read our affiliate disclosure here for more information. 

 Work, work, work, work, work… just to pay the bills.

I recently read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. One of the parts that really hit me was the idea that the average person is driven to work by two emotions: fear and desire. Kim will tell you better than anyone else that I am not into material things. I rarely want birthday gifts or Christmas presents. I even hate clothes shopping for myself. Perhaps I should care more about that stuff but if I’m being honest with myself I don’t. Desire is not an issue for me.

Fear is the emotion that motivates me these days. This fear makes me get up and work for a paycheck so I can continue to pay my mortgage. It is the same fear that if I lose this job Kim may have to go back to work full-time to make ends meet. I fear that my son will lose the amount of time that he currently has with his mother because I lost my job and we have to pay the mortgage. This fear stops me from speaking up about certain things in the job because they may find someone else to fill the position and kick me to the curb. This familiar fear is the same thing that kept me in a job two years too long because it was a “great” company and the job was “secure”.  

There is a part of me that feels like I’m selling my soul to make the mortgage payment. There is another part of me that wants to be free from the daily grind of humbling myself for a paycheck. That second part of me is screaming for more because he’s gotten a taste of that freedom. Before getting to this point in our financial journey I didn’t even realize how debt was affecting my thoughts and decisions. Today it is absolutely clear that debt has had and still does have an effect on my decisions and actions. 

Rock a bye baby because I have to go to work.

I wonder sometimes what the results of a poll of women would be if they had the choice of being a stay at home mom or working part-time as opposed to working full-time. What about dads too? What if both parents had the ability to work less in order to spend more time with family and/or kids?

The average American has $16K in credit card debt, $176K in mortgage debt, $28K in auto loans, and $49K in student loans. Unless one parent has the ability to earn a more than ordinary income this debt scenario doesn’t allow for a household that can survive off one income. Therefore, both parents have to go to work to stay above water.

And let’s be honest, daycare is EXPENSIVE. A huge chunk of your income is going to someone else for them to have the pleasure of caring and nurturing your child at the beginning of their life. Kids are resilient and I’m not saying that if you send your kids to daycare they’re going to be messed up for life. There are definitely perks to daycare. However, if most people had the choice they would probably choose to spend more time raising their kids instead of working. They may do a little daycare to give their child the opportunity to socialize with other kids though. The key here is that it would be a choice and not a necessity. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to Dave Ramsey’s or Suze Orman’s show and a young mother wants to come home with the kids but the family has so much debt that it just isn’t feasible. That mom HAS to go to work to eliminate the debt in order to eventually be at home with their child. This is the problem with debt. It limits your options and thus your decisions. 

Missed Opportunities

I can’t say with 100% certainty that you would see these words today if Kim and I were heavily in debt. Having our own blog would be the last thing on our minds. This makes me wonder how many people are scared to start their own business or pursue a dream because they don’t know how they would make their monthly payments. When having just enough money to cover all your bills is your reality there is little emotional energy left over to ponder other opportunities much less actually work on them. 

In finance, there is a term called opportunity cost. This is basically an opportunity that was missed because your time and energy were spent on something else. We’ll never know what idea, inventions, businesses, and even blogs weren’t created because a person’s talents and energy were spent just trying to cover the bills.  

How are some ways debt has affected your decisions?

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Filed Under: Personal + Finance Tagged With: debt, debt free

See what’s happening on Instagram…

thinkingofsomeday

As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we beca As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we became mortgage free. What better way to celebrate than a date night in our paid off home?! 😏
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So how does it feel?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Financially, we invested the most money we've ever invested. We also increased our lifestyle a bit as well to keep a healthy balance.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Kim’s Perspective: 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s been great. For the longest it felt surreal and unbelievable that we actually did it. I never really worried about paying off the mortgage because I knew that worst case scenario, it would be paid off in 15 years, which would’ve been when we were 45 (and that’s not a bad age at all). However, it’s been nice to know that it’s not something that Omar is stressing over anymore. And since it was one of his biggest dreams/goals, it’s nice knowing that I was able to support him 100% of the way in making this happen for us and our family. I’m glad this is something he wanted to pursue and that I was actually on board with it. What I’ve enjoyed most about it is being able to spend more money (of course 😆) because a lot of things were put on hold while we focused on the payoff. So now I feel like I’m at that point where I can make our house more of a home for us. It literally feels like we’re in a new space (mentally and physically) and we’re loving it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Omar’s Perspective:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This past year has probably been the best year I've had in life. I've been the least stressed I've ever been, but took on the most responsibility at work I've ever taken on which lead to a promotion and an increase in income. This boggles my mind as more responsibility at work usually means more stress. I feel like I’ve been able to focus on other areas of my life more (my health/weight as well as making more of an effort to maintain my relationships with friends/family). Most importantly, I realize the strength of my marriage.  With the state of dating/relationships these days, I realize I won the lottery with Kim.  She's an amazing wife and mother. We've always had a good relationship but we're stronger than ever.  We started from the bottom now we're here (in my Drake voice). 🎶 #thislifeafterdebt
After taking some time to think about what we want After taking some time to think about what we wanted to focus on for this year, we decided that our word for the year is health.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Overall we both want to continue making healthier choices when it comes to eating. And we both want to focus on exercising more than we have in the past and be way more consistent with it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of the day, what’s money, financial freedom/independence and wealth if you’re not healthy? And we definitely have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc that run in our families. We have kids to live for and that’s what we plan to do to the best of our ability!
This is what our financial goals ended up looking This is what our financial goals ended up looking like for this year. We’re pretty pleased with the outcome and the fact that we still enjoyed ourselves throughout the year and even made some pretty big purchases (like that whole couch saga I shared in my stories 😆). We’re looking forward to seeing what the next year holds! #thislifeafterdebt
We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but if we had to say a word that was our word for this year it would be “intentional” by far.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021 we were very intentional about pulling money from an inherited IRA so that our tax bill wouldn’t be ridiculous like it would have been if we pulled a lump sum at one time. We then used the money to help pay off our mortgage 8 days into 2021.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What we were even more  intentional about was our plan for what we were going to do with our mortgage payment once we didn’t have a mortgage anymore. We didn’t want to frivolously spend that money. So we actually came up with our plan a couple months before making our final payment. But literally after that payment on January 8, 2020, our new mortgage-free budget was in full effect! So yea, “intentional” is definitely a good word to sum up 2021 for us. #thislifeafterdebt
Some of the things we automate are:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Our Budget:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For the longest we use to type everything we were going to spend or save into our budget template. It wasn’t super time consuming but it wasn’t efficient when it came to our regular bills/expenses. Then one day we decided to prefill the template and copy and paste it month to month for our regular bills/expenses. All we have to do is add anything else we spend.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Savings / Investing:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Most of our savings/investing and even our gas and spending money our automated transfers. It beats having to go in and make multiple transfers to our personal accounts and our sinking funds. The 529 accounts for the kids and the Roth IRAs are automatically transferred. But for the brokerage account we have to manually transfer the money because it’s never the same amount each paycheck.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Bill Pay:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve never been a fan of bill pay because I don’t like companies having that type of access to my money. 🥴 And whenever they mess up and charge you too much, they’ll try to just credit your account instead of putting the money back in your bank account. 🙄 However, I’m a tad bit more trusting these days. Lol. Our home alarm had no option but to be auto drafted. Since the amount wasn’t much and is always the same price, I agreed. And the only other bill auto drafted is our cell phone bill after many many years (gasp! haha). Some of the other bills are paid via online bill pay via our banking account. #thisfinancialconfession
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Doing all of this has been a game changer and time saver. Are you team automate or team manual?
It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuter It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuterie board. So I figured Christmas brunch was the perfect time. And plus, that meant less time in the kitchen for me with cooking because I knew I was going to be cooking dinner today. #piecesofsomeday
Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s gua Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s guaranteed that someone isn’t going to be looking. 😆 #christmas2021 #piecesofsomeday
We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down payment). We refinanced at $165k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we took 30 years to pay it off, our total would’ve been $293k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we paid the 30-year mortgage like a 15, then it would’ve been $225k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
After we refinanced to a 15-year, if we took 15 years to pay it off, then our total would’ve been $205k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Instead, we paid off our mortgage in a little over 7.5 years.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We ended up paying a total of $200k with interest.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Paying $200k for this home with how it looked when we purchased it sounded a lot better than having to pay a total of $293k if we end up being here for 30 years! This was yet another factor that helped us decide to pay it off early. #thislifeafterdebt
Part of the reason we decided to refinance and eve Part of the reason we decided to refinance and even pay our house off early is because of the amount of money we were paying in interest on our mortgage. So of course, several months after we paid off the mortgage I began to wonder just how much did we really pay in interest. So I asked Omar if there was a way to figure it out. At first he was like, “Really Kim?” 😳 And of course I was like, “Ummm yea.” 😬 Lol.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jun 2013 is when we bought the house. So there wasn’t much interest paid then.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2014 and 2015 is still when we had the 30-year mortgage. It’s also the years that we paid the most interest. We refinanced at the end of 2015.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2016 is when we made our first payment with the 15-year mortgage. It’s crazy how the amount of interest decreased based off that alone.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2019 is when we decided to pay off our mortgage early. It was supposed to take 6 years. But instead we used RSUs and sped it up tremendously.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jan 2021 is when we paid it off before our first payment would’ve been due. $27 was the last bit of interest we paid on our mortgage.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Grand total: $35,102.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we had continue to just make regular payments on the 15-year mortgage, we would’ve paid a total of $56,279. A difference of $21,177. 🙌🏽 🙌🏽 #thislifeafterdebt
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Comments

  1. Chad says

    June 27, 2017 at 11:07 am

    Great read… Things like changing jobs even comes to mind because you don’t even have any backup to cover the transition… The fear and desire points were particularly vivid. Thanks for sharing.

    • Omar says

      June 27, 2017 at 1:53 pm

      Yep! That’s a good one especially if you don’t have an emergency fund yet. That transition can be scary for sure!

  2. Tomeka Keeton says

    June 28, 2017 at 12:08 pm

    Great article!!!

    • Omar says

      June 28, 2017 at 5:46 pm

      Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

  3. Katrice says

    June 28, 2017 at 1:47 pm

    I really enjoyed reading this article you posted. Having debt definitely plays a major part in some of the decisions I make. It still does as a matter of fact. Deciding on needs and wants (what you can do with or without etc). Also adding in the fear that you mentioned. Living for today or living for the future etc. I have a plethora of thoughts in regards to this post. I will probably have to do a conference call with you, Kim and my husband lol. Until then, I will continue to ponder on my thoughts so that I may share them later.

    • Omar says

      June 28, 2017 at 5:53 pm

      LoL! We’ll have to get together to make it happen! It didn’t hit me how debt was affecting my decisions until I thought about how different my decisions would have been had the debt not been there. It’s eye-opening when you think about.

  4. Jing Pei says

    June 30, 2017 at 11:33 am

    Having debt definitely takes away freedom! I’m so lucky I’ve never had to experience this, but there were definitely a few times in my life when I wondered where money was going to come from to pay the rent!

    Most of my friends who are in debt definitely worry and stress way more about their jobs and performance in general. Even with a hefty emergency fund, sometimes you just really don’t know how unemployment could last and how long you may need to make loan payments! Thankfully I think there are some companies that let you defer loan payments during unemployment! I notice the same fear of work performance for any of my friends who have a visa sponsored by their company!

    • Kim says

      July 2, 2017 at 9:28 pm

      It’s crazy the things that you have to think about when you have debt or even in our a case, a mortgage to pay. In regards to student loans, some companies will let you defer, but sometimes even that is only for so long or even only a one-time thing. It is a nice option to have though if ever it’s needed. And you make a good point about people who may fear their work performance when they have a visa sponsored by their company. I couldn’t even imagine that type of fear.

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A married couple making someday a reality all while balancing family + finances + avoiding debt. Find out more about us, here.

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See what’s happening on Instagram

thinkingofsomeday

As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we beca As of 1/8/2022, it’s been one year since we became mortgage free. What better way to celebrate than a date night in our paid off home?! 😏
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So how does it feel?
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Financially, we invested the most money we've ever invested. We also increased our lifestyle a bit as well to keep a healthy balance.
 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Kim’s Perspective: 
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s been great. For the longest it felt surreal and unbelievable that we actually did it. I never really worried about paying off the mortgage because I knew that worst case scenario, it would be paid off in 15 years, which would’ve been when we were 45 (and that’s not a bad age at all). However, it’s been nice to know that it’s not something that Omar is stressing over anymore. And since it was one of his biggest dreams/goals, it’s nice knowing that I was able to support him 100% of the way in making this happen for us and our family. I’m glad this is something he wanted to pursue and that I was actually on board with it. What I’ve enjoyed most about it is being able to spend more money (of course 😆) because a lot of things were put on hold while we focused on the payoff. So now I feel like I’m at that point where I can make our house more of a home for us. It literally feels like we’re in a new space (mentally and physically) and we’re loving it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Omar’s Perspective:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This past year has probably been the best year I've had in life. I've been the least stressed I've ever been, but took on the most responsibility at work I've ever taken on which lead to a promotion and an increase in income. This boggles my mind as more responsibility at work usually means more stress. I feel like I’ve been able to focus on other areas of my life more (my health/weight as well as making more of an effort to maintain my relationships with friends/family). Most importantly, I realize the strength of my marriage.  With the state of dating/relationships these days, I realize I won the lottery with Kim.  She's an amazing wife and mother. We've always had a good relationship but we're stronger than ever.  We started from the bottom now we're here (in my Drake voice). 🎶 #thislifeafterdebt
After taking some time to think about what we want After taking some time to think about what we wanted to focus on for this year, we decided that our word for the year is health.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Overall we both want to continue making healthier choices when it comes to eating. And we both want to focus on exercising more than we have in the past and be way more consistent with it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of the day, what’s money, financial freedom/independence and wealth if you’re not healthy? And we definitely have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc that run in our families. We have kids to live for and that’s what we plan to do to the best of our ability!
This is what our financial goals ended up looking This is what our financial goals ended up looking like for this year. We’re pretty pleased with the outcome and the fact that we still enjoyed ourselves throughout the year and even made some pretty big purchases (like that whole couch saga I shared in my stories 😆). We’re looking forward to seeing what the next year holds! #thislifeafterdebt
We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but We didn’t officially choose a word for 2021, but if we had to say a word that was our word for this year it would be “intentional” by far.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
At the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021 we were very intentional about pulling money from an inherited IRA so that our tax bill wouldn’t be ridiculous like it would have been if we pulled a lump sum at one time. We then used the money to help pay off our mortgage 8 days into 2021.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What we were even more  intentional about was our plan for what we were going to do with our mortgage payment once we didn’t have a mortgage anymore. We didn’t want to frivolously spend that money. So we actually came up with our plan a couple months before making our final payment. But literally after that payment on January 8, 2020, our new mortgage-free budget was in full effect! So yea, “intentional” is definitely a good word to sum up 2021 for us. #thislifeafterdebt
Some of the things we automate are:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Our Budget:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For the longest we use to type everything we were going to spend or save into our budget template. It wasn’t super time consuming but it wasn’t efficient when it came to our regular bills/expenses. Then one day we decided to prefill the template and copy and paste it month to month for our regular bills/expenses. All we have to do is add anything else we spend.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Savings / Investing:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Most of our savings/investing and even our gas and spending money our automated transfers. It beats having to go in and make multiple transfers to our personal accounts and our sinking funds. The 529 accounts for the kids and the Roth IRAs are automatically transferred. But for the brokerage account we have to manually transfer the money because it’s never the same amount each paycheck.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Bill Pay:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve never been a fan of bill pay because I don’t like companies having that type of access to my money. 🥴 And whenever they mess up and charge you too much, they’ll try to just credit your account instead of putting the money back in your bank account. 🙄 However, I’m a tad bit more trusting these days. Lol. Our home alarm had no option but to be auto drafted. Since the amount wasn’t much and is always the same price, I agreed. And the only other bill auto drafted is our cell phone bill after many many years (gasp! haha). Some of the other bills are paid via online bill pay via our banking account. #thisfinancialconfession
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Doing all of this has been a game changer and time saver. Are you team automate or team manual?
It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuter It’s been a minute since I’ve made a charcuterie board. So I figured Christmas brunch was the perfect time. And plus, that meant less time in the kitchen for me with cooking because I knew I was going to be cooking dinner today. #piecesofsomeday
Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s gua Merry Christmas! And 2 pictures because it’s guaranteed that someone isn’t going to be looking. 😆 #christmas2021 #piecesofsomeday
We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down We purchased our house for $168.5k (after the down payment). We refinanced at $165k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we took 30 years to pay it off, our total would’ve been $293k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we paid the 30-year mortgage like a 15, then it would’ve been $225k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
After we refinanced to a 15-year, if we took 15 years to pay it off, then our total would’ve been $205k.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Instead, we paid off our mortgage in a little over 7.5 years.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We ended up paying a total of $200k with interest.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Paying $200k for this home with how it looked when we purchased it sounded a lot better than having to pay a total of $293k if we end up being here for 30 years! This was yet another factor that helped us decide to pay it off early. #thislifeafterdebt
Part of the reason we decided to refinance and eve Part of the reason we decided to refinance and even pay our house off early is because of the amount of money we were paying in interest on our mortgage. So of course, several months after we paid off the mortgage I began to wonder just how much did we really pay in interest. So I asked Omar if there was a way to figure it out. At first he was like, “Really Kim?” 😳 And of course I was like, “Ummm yea.” 😬 Lol.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jun 2013 is when we bought the house. So there wasn’t much interest paid then.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2014 and 2015 is still when we had the 30-year mortgage. It’s also the years that we paid the most interest. We refinanced at the end of 2015.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2016 is when we made our first payment with the 15-year mortgage. It’s crazy how the amount of interest decreased based off that alone.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2019 is when we decided to pay off our mortgage early. It was supposed to take 6 years. But instead we used RSUs and sped it up tremendously.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Jan 2021 is when we paid it off before our first payment would’ve been due. $27 was the last bit of interest we paid on our mortgage.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Grand total: $35,102.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If we had continue to just make regular payments on the 15-year mortgage, we would’ve paid a total of $56,279. A difference of $21,177. 🙌🏽 🙌🏽 #thislifeafterdebt
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