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10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Second Child

May 12, 2019 By Kim

It’s been almost a month since we’ve posted a blog post. We haven’t forgotten about our blog or our readers. We’ve just been busy with work, some household and other projects, and our oldest son wrapping up his first year of school (pre-k 3). Since it’s Mother’s Day I figured this type of post would be perfect. Besides, almost two years ago when we first started blogging we did a post about 10 Things No One Tells You About Becoming A Parent. It was one of my favorite posts to write and reflect on our journey of parenting. Now here we are 4.5 years into having our oldest son and 11 months of having our second son. So in celebration of Mother’s Day, I wanted to share 10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Second Child.

ONE.

You will wonder if you have enough room in your heart to love another child. And somewhere along the line whether it’s before, during, or after pregnancy… you will realize that you have more than enough love to share.

TWO.

You’ll experience all kinds of emotions at the same time when watching your oldest child meet his sibling for the first time. You’ll be happy and excited because they’re meeting one another, but you’ll be nervous and anxious that the toddler doesn’t want anything to do with the new baby. For us, it was all of the above, but our oldest son responded very well to his baby brother and even asked if he was going to come home with him now. And he had just been born 2 hours prior!

THREE.

You’ll experience the same emotions again when you realize how rough your toddler can be with the new baby. While you thought your toddler was ready for a sibling, what he was really ready for was another toddler… NOT a baby!

A parent’s definition of “gentle” and a toddler’s definition of “gentle” are 2 completely different things!

And as you try to tell him to be gentle… you’ll realize that the baby is laughing and enjoying every bit of it. What a way for them to egg each other on and team up against you already at such young ages.

FOUR.

You’ll find yourself always comparing the 2 children. Whether it’s comparing their birth weight, their deliveries, when the first tooth came in or when they started to walk. At the same time, you’ll discover that no 2 babies are alike.

FIVE.

You won’t be as uptight with the second child. Sometimes this leaves us feeling like he’s getting the short end of the stick. Or maybe he’s just getting the better end. ((shoulder shrug Lol)). Our oldest son had no sweets and only milk and water before he turned one. Can’t say the same for our second son. Lol. But he is enjoying his food and living his best life as he knows it!

SIX.

It’s hard going from 1 child to 2 children. Normally you might think that having more than 2 kids is overwhelming… Well, we can’t speak on that. But what we do know is that going from 1 child to 2 children sometimes still leave us figuring out how we’re going to do things. The good thing is that as parents we tend to think and respond quickly. So it’s working out.

SEVEN.

Going back to being sleep deprived with a newborn and the nightly nursing sessions has been one of the harder adjustments. Just as we got used to sleeping through the night for the last couple of years with our oldest… BAM! Goodbye sleep with a new baby!

EIGHT.

The second child seems to grow faster. We can’t believe he’s about to be one next month when it feels like he was just born a couple of months ago. On top of that, even at 11-months-old, he’s trying his best to keep up with his big brother. It actually started sooner than this. And for now, it means crawling around at fast speeds until he’s ready to walk!

NINE.

A lot of people said that when the new baby comes the oldest child would be jealous or act like a baby. For us, it was delayed. It wasn’t until around when the baby turned 10-months-old. Our oldest started with wanting to be carried into the house from the car because he was “sleep” or wanting to eat the baby snacks when he had his own. Maybe we should be happy that these are the only signs that we notice.

TEN.

Watching them grow together and interact with one another every single day has been so fun and entertaining to watch. Yes, sometimes one of them doesn’t want to be bothered with the other and that’s interesting to watch as well. But regardless, now having the 2 of them… We couldn’t imagine life any other way!

What are some things you’ve realized only after having your second child? Or if you’re planning to have a second child, what are you looking forward to the most?

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Filed Under: Life + Home Tagged With: newborn, parenting, toddler

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thinkingofsomeday

TL;DR: We didn’t get where we are today without TL;DR: We didn’t get where we are today without being consistent and intentional about our money decisions once we decided enough was enough. And it definitely didn’t happen overnight as you can see from the YEARS on the timeline (12-13 years actually). It was a process and complete mindset shift. Every event that’s listed on the timeline is something that we talked about in depth and came up with a plan to execute when it was necessary.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Timeline Overview:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• started with budgeting (even before marriage)
 •made the decision to lead a debt free lifestyle, starting with our wedding
• paid off all debt
• bought a house that was likely waaaay less then the bank would’ve approved us for
• saved up a 6+ month EF
• started investing again
• when my dad passed we decided to put the money in an inherited IRA instead of cashing it out (probably one of the single best money decisions we’ve ever made next to deciding to budget)
• saved for and almost paid cash for our SUV (we both had coupes when we had our first child; up until he was 1.5)
• over time, cash flowed all of our home updates (and it’s been a lot of them; maybe I’ll share about them one day)
• realized it was best for us to refinance to a 15 year mortgage and eventually pay it off sooner, and even faster by cashing out RSUs
• paid off mortgage and made first contribution to brokerage account the next day
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And that’s it. That’s our financial timeline and how we got to where we are today. Budgeted, calculated, and intentional decisions.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What’s next? To be continued... #thislifeafterdebt
No long caption. I just wanted to make our last “mortgage principal payoff” calendar update. 😆 It’s been a month and it still feels surreal to us...
On Christmas Eve morning, Omar left out of the bed On Christmas Eve morning, Omar left out of the bedroom saying that he had to go work on something. When he came back he handed me a letter that said:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“As I sit here on the edge of paying our home off I understand that it isn’t completely about us. Our job is to set the next generation up to do better than us, which makes me think of the generation before me. This final payment would not be possible without [Kim’s dad]. He spent his life working for this money and passed away before he got to use it for himself. We agreed to use that money in a way that would always honor him. So for the past 6 years it has funded our oldest son’s 529 [via the minimum required distribution]. Today, that money has grown enough to pay off our mortgage without touching the initial principal. Today we sever ties to debt forever. Today, we say thank you to [Kim’s dad] for the sacrifices he made and the foundation he laid that made it possible. THANK YOU!!”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Of course after l finished reading the letter I was like... 🥺😭. Truth be told, I still kind of feel that way. It’s part of why it took so long to share the details of paying off our mortgage. Losing a parent is hard.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Pictured is my dad and I... my favorite picture of of us. He passed away 6 years ago on NYE. He was only 62. After he passed, I found out I was “entitled” to receive part of his pension. Omar and I decided to use some of this money to pay off our mortgage. This is how we were able to pay off most of our $54k balance 7 days into this year.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is the short version, but if you want the full details, we wrote a blog post sharing:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• a recap of our initial mortgage payoff plan + payoff journey
• some background info about the pension + how we almost cashed it out when we first found out about it
• the breakdown of the $$ that it took to make this happen + why we did it this way
• how some things didn’t go as planned
• and each of our thoughts in regards to all of this
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can find the link in our bio.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“In all that I do, I strive to make my parents proud. I like to think my dad would be damn proud of me... of us, for this one.” Kim #piecesofsomeday
#tbt To last Thursday (1/7/2021) when we became mo #tbt To last Thursday (1/7/2021) when we became mortgage free!! Yes, you read that correctly! We are 100% debt free! Like debt free, debt free. 🤣
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
To be honest, it’s been a week and it still doesn’t feel real to us yet. But it was real watching that money disappear from our account and no longer seeing our mortgage balance when we signed into our credit union account. We must say, our credit union works pretty fast! Lol.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We didn’t even get around to sharing our mortgage payoff goal for the year with one of the little cute pictures explaining how we were going to do it. But here’s a quick recap of the numbers that we were working with...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• mortgage principal: $54,507.37
• mortgage interest: $35.84
• reconveyance fee: $69.00
• paying off our mortgage... definitely not priceless, but oh so worth it!! 😂🙌🏽
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We’ll share more in depth details soon because you’re probably wondering how we came up with that amount of money 7 days into January. It definitely wasn’t from hitting the lottery! Lol. But until then, just know that...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
WE’RE MORTGAGE FREE!!! #piecesofsomeday
So we took some Christmas / family pictures back i So we took some Christmas / family pictures back in 2020 (as if that was so long ago), but I never got to share them. 😩 So here’s one. I actually like the fact that it’s in front of our house. #piecesofsomeday
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And I also wanted to add that we finally did another blog post after quite some time. Maybe we’re the world’s worst bloggers. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♂️ But if you’re interested, we’re sharing a recap of quarter 3 and quarter 4 from our mortgage payoff journey. We’re also sharing what our mortgage payoff goal is for 2021. We’re a bit excited about it! You can check it out at the link in our bio.
2020. This has been a year that I’m sure none of 2020. This has been a year that I’m sure none of us will ever forget. While this year has been ok for us for the most part, there are many people that it’s been a really really tough year for. Whether it’s been financially, emotionally, health wise, etc. etc. etc. So here’s to hoping that next year will be much much better, for everyone, but especially for those who had a tough time this year. ✨♥️
We started 2020 off with owning 43% of our house a We started 2020 off with owning 43% of our house and we now own 69% of it. We had paid off 39% of the mortgage loan and we’re finishing the year out at having 66% of it paid off. (These 2 numbers are not the same for us because of our 5% down payment as well as when we refinanced to a 15-year mortgage.) It’s been really exciting to see these numbers increase this year.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Annnnnd this concludes our December numbers. I can’t believe I managed to share them all before the end of the year!! 😂)
Q4 was our best quarter by far, mostly due to the Q4 was our best quarter by far, mostly due to the RSUs that we were able to use. However, even if we hadn’t been able to use them, Q4 would have still wrapped up nicely thanks to us still being able to stick to our 70/30 plan.
For December we were able to color in 4 rectangles For December we were able to color in 4 rectangles. This puts our mortgage balance for the end of 2020 at $54,507.37.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• 132 rectangles total
• 88 rectangles colored in
• 44 rectangles to go!!
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Comments

  1. Penny says

    May 16, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    This honestly melted my heart! We aren’t sure if HP is an only or not. Either way, I appreciate all of the truths here!

    • Kim says

      May 16, 2019 at 5:42 pm

      Awww thanks, Penny. We always knew we wanted a second child, but it definitely took us some time to be ready. And now I don’t know that there is such thing as a “perfect gap” between them. I’m such there’s pros and cons no matter the age gap.

  2. GYM says

    May 16, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Thanks for this! Our second is coming soon and I’m super nervous already

    • Kim says

      May 16, 2019 at 5:47 pm

      You’re welcome, GYM! Just know that it’s perfectly fine and normal to be nervous. I was nervous too even as I sat at home in labor. And I thought I was going to have more time with our oldest but the baby came 2 weeks before his due date. But everything ended up ok and worked itself out.

  3. Kris says

    May 16, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    I am going to experience this event soon with our second child arriving. What I’m looking for forward is to see if BwC will respond well to his new brother. I think naturally the older sibling does not take it well when another little human is in their life and everyone pays their attention to them and not the older one. We have prepared him for this and so far he feels fine with it. He even likes to touch MwC’s tummy to feel the baby kicking. We’ll see what happens when he arrives.
    Being sleep deprived is one thing I have to adjust to again. Luckily I plan to take about six weeks off from work when the second one is born so I can find time to take short naps.

    • Kim says

      May 18, 2019 at 9:45 pm

      You’ll have to let me know how BwC ends up responding to his baby brother. Hopefully all will go well though!

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A married couple making someday a reality all while balancing family + finances + avoiding debt. Find out more about us, here.

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See what’s happening on Instagram

thinkingofsomeday

TL;DR: We didn’t get where we are today without TL;DR: We didn’t get where we are today without being consistent and intentional about our money decisions once we decided enough was enough. And it definitely didn’t happen overnight as you can see from the YEARS on the timeline (12-13 years actually). It was a process and complete mindset shift. Every event that’s listed on the timeline is something that we talked about in depth and came up with a plan to execute when it was necessary.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Timeline Overview:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• started with budgeting (even before marriage)
 •made the decision to lead a debt free lifestyle, starting with our wedding
• paid off all debt
• bought a house that was likely waaaay less then the bank would’ve approved us for
• saved up a 6+ month EF
• started investing again
• when my dad passed we decided to put the money in an inherited IRA instead of cashing it out (probably one of the single best money decisions we’ve ever made next to deciding to budget)
• saved for and almost paid cash for our SUV (we both had coupes when we had our first child; up until he was 1.5)
• over time, cash flowed all of our home updates (and it’s been a lot of them; maybe I’ll share about them one day)
• realized it was best for us to refinance to a 15 year mortgage and eventually pay it off sooner, and even faster by cashing out RSUs
• paid off mortgage and made first contribution to brokerage account the next day
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And that’s it. That’s our financial timeline and how we got to where we are today. Budgeted, calculated, and intentional decisions.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What’s next? To be continued... #thislifeafterdebt
No long caption. I just wanted to make our last “mortgage principal payoff” calendar update. 😆 It’s been a month and it still feels surreal to us...
On Christmas Eve morning, Omar left out of the bed On Christmas Eve morning, Omar left out of the bedroom saying that he had to go work on something. When he came back he handed me a letter that said:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“As I sit here on the edge of paying our home off I understand that it isn’t completely about us. Our job is to set the next generation up to do better than us, which makes me think of the generation before me. This final payment would not be possible without [Kim’s dad]. He spent his life working for this money and passed away before he got to use it for himself. We agreed to use that money in a way that would always honor him. So for the past 6 years it has funded our oldest son’s 529 [via the minimum required distribution]. Today, that money has grown enough to pay off our mortgage without touching the initial principal. Today we sever ties to debt forever. Today, we say thank you to [Kim’s dad] for the sacrifices he made and the foundation he laid that made it possible. THANK YOU!!”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Of course after l finished reading the letter I was like... 🥺😭. Truth be told, I still kind of feel that way. It’s part of why it took so long to share the details of paying off our mortgage. Losing a parent is hard.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Pictured is my dad and I... my favorite picture of of us. He passed away 6 years ago on NYE. He was only 62. After he passed, I found out I was “entitled” to receive part of his pension. Omar and I decided to use some of this money to pay off our mortgage. This is how we were able to pay off most of our $54k balance 7 days into this year.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is the short version, but if you want the full details, we wrote a blog post sharing:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• a recap of our initial mortgage payoff plan + payoff journey
• some background info about the pension + how we almost cashed it out when we first found out about it
• the breakdown of the $$ that it took to make this happen + why we did it this way
• how some things didn’t go as planned
• and each of our thoughts in regards to all of this
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can find the link in our bio.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“In all that I do, I strive to make my parents proud. I like to think my dad would be damn proud of me... of us, for this one.” Kim #piecesofsomeday
#tbt To last Thursday (1/7/2021) when we became mo #tbt To last Thursday (1/7/2021) when we became mortgage free!! Yes, you read that correctly! We are 100% debt free! Like debt free, debt free. 🤣
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
To be honest, it’s been a week and it still doesn’t feel real to us yet. But it was real watching that money disappear from our account and no longer seeing our mortgage balance when we signed into our credit union account. We must say, our credit union works pretty fast! Lol.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We didn’t even get around to sharing our mortgage payoff goal for the year with one of the little cute pictures explaining how we were going to do it. But here’s a quick recap of the numbers that we were working with...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• mortgage principal: $54,507.37
• mortgage interest: $35.84
• reconveyance fee: $69.00
• paying off our mortgage... definitely not priceless, but oh so worth it!! 😂🙌🏽
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We’ll share more in depth details soon because you’re probably wondering how we came up with that amount of money 7 days into January. It definitely wasn’t from hitting the lottery! Lol. But until then, just know that...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
WE’RE MORTGAGE FREE!!! #piecesofsomeday
So we took some Christmas / family pictures back i So we took some Christmas / family pictures back in 2020 (as if that was so long ago), but I never got to share them. 😩 So here’s one. I actually like the fact that it’s in front of our house. #piecesofsomeday
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And I also wanted to add that we finally did another blog post after quite some time. Maybe we’re the world’s worst bloggers. 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♂️ But if you’re interested, we’re sharing a recap of quarter 3 and quarter 4 from our mortgage payoff journey. We’re also sharing what our mortgage payoff goal is for 2021. We’re a bit excited about it! You can check it out at the link in our bio.
2020. This has been a year that I’m sure none of 2020. This has been a year that I’m sure none of us will ever forget. While this year has been ok for us for the most part, there are many people that it’s been a really really tough year for. Whether it’s been financially, emotionally, health wise, etc. etc. etc. So here’s to hoping that next year will be much much better, for everyone, but especially for those who had a tough time this year. ✨♥️
We started 2020 off with owning 43% of our house a We started 2020 off with owning 43% of our house and we now own 69% of it. We had paid off 39% of the mortgage loan and we’re finishing the year out at having 66% of it paid off. (These 2 numbers are not the same for us because of our 5% down payment as well as when we refinanced to a 15-year mortgage.) It’s been really exciting to see these numbers increase this year.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Annnnnd this concludes our December numbers. I can’t believe I managed to share them all before the end of the year!! 😂)
Q4 was our best quarter by far, mostly due to the Q4 was our best quarter by far, mostly due to the RSUs that we were able to use. However, even if we hadn’t been able to use them, Q4 would have still wrapped up nicely thanks to us still being able to stick to our 70/30 plan.
For December we were able to color in 4 rectangles For December we were able to color in 4 rectangles. This puts our mortgage balance for the end of 2020 at $54,507.37.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
• 132 rectangles total
• 88 rectangles colored in
• 44 rectangles to go!!
Follow Us

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